Will The Show Go On If Nothing Changes?

This is being reposted from Cooperative Catalyst.

I recently read the post about whether being a classroom teacher is how one envisions themselves. It is a challenging question. When I was the age of my students, if someone had asked me, "Do you want to be a teacher?" the answer would've been an emphatic, "Good God, NO!" I never wanted to be in the classroom. My parents are both professors, my sister is a teacher, my other sister is a professor - I've been surrounded and immersed in education my entire life. I never thought it was my "path." I was going to be a "Star!" Capital letters, of course :-) So, I ran off to California, studied theatre and music and began pounding the pavement of fame and fortune. I chased the brass ring for nineteen years, traveling the world, wearing characters and costumes like someone else's life. I had a blast. And they paid me to do it. I made it all the way to Broadway and film and television. I went to the opening night gala's; worked with the "stars;" had a fan club; slept during the day and worked all night; saw myself on television and the big screen; didn't have fortune but had plenty. Perfection, right?

One day, I woke up and thought, well... now what? I had this huge epiphany that although I had a great career and life; I wasn't sure I envisioned my life... here. So at forty, where do I go? And I started thinking back. Back to the awkward, shy, bullied adolescent that I was in middle school. When a funny, caring science teacher who also doubled as the theatre director noticed a kid in trouble. He reached out and rescued me. He introduced me to theatre, to friends, to a community who accepted me for who I was and gave me a safe haven. And it suddenly occurred to me, that it was time to return the favor. Pay it forward if you like. I figured I had survived the politics of professional theatre and film; education should be a walk in the park! So I went off to be a theatre teacher...

It's been seven years since I joined the ranks of fulltime teachers in public schools. I love the kids. I hope I reach one or two along the way. Maybe give one or two the safe haven that Mr. Williams offered me. But as I work, as I go along, I wonder. When did education become about covering your ass and protecting your job? When did education become about politics and political parties? When did our young people become pawns in an economic battleground that seems to imply our jobs as educators is to turn out "workers" in a global economy? When did we decide that creativity equaled wastefulness? That resourcefulness and independent questioning equaled rebellion and disrespect? That questioning how the material impacts daily life equaled misbehaviour?

I keep getting told - this isn't theatre - this is education. I get it. In theatre, it's pretty simple. We may not like each other all the time and we may not always get along but there is a simple goal. Everything needs to focus on the "show." It is the MOST important thing at all times. If the show succeeds, everyone succeeds. If the show fails, we all fail and are out of work. So, if there is a problem, you can't waste time with committees and debates and discussions, arguments and endless meetings - you have to solve it quickly. It that isn't the best long-term solution, put it in place today, figure out the long-term solution tomorrow and implement it. The show goes on and is top priority at all times. You don't like your co-cast member. Who cares? You do the show together. You cover each other's back onstage. You make each other look good at all times. And at the end of the night, you go home and forget about each other. The show is top priority.

You see, I thought education would be similar. That the kids were the "show." They would always take top priority. We would put aside petty differences, politics and divisions and focus on them succeeding. If they succeed, we succeed. If they fail, we failed - ergo - we have to fix the problem. Not fix the kids, not kick them out of the system - but fix what we are doing so that the kids "go on." I was wrong. Things can work and get thrown out. Why? They're too expensive. Things that aren't working require meetings, committees, review, more meetings, more committees, more review. Endlessly with no action in sight. Meanwhile, the kids, every more resilient and strong, move forward despite our best efforts to screw it up.

So, when I envisioned myself trying to be a classroom teacher, I didn't envision this. I envisioned making a difference. Helping someone as someone helped me. Working in a community where everyone focused on the students and their success. Instead the endless battles seem to be about blame and greed. Firing teachers, kicking out students, passing mindless standardized tests that prove...nothing, punishing schools who lack resources, and using education as a grand political tool to divide an already deeply divided country.

And no one seems to remember the simple rule. Everything needs to focus on the "show." It is the MOST important thing at all times. If it fails, we're all out of jobs. We all go down. If our young people don't get our best, the show closes ... for good.

How To Create A Community In Which Students Feel A Part

We are about three months until the end of the year. I have been meeting with the freshmen class once a month to discuss Bullying and how we, as a community, can work together to make the school safer, stronger, more cohesive. It has been challenging. There have been times when I have been feeling that the task is bigger than I am. That it isn't a matter of educating the students but rather overcoming the school's attitude - the adults, the administration, the parents, the overwhelming apathy in face of problems that seem insurmountable and unsolvable. There are days when I listen to the people I work with as they discuss the futility of creating change when there is no clear leadership - when the students are "disrespectful" - when nothing ever lasts long enough to have an impact. And I have a student who is being bullied while I do this work, and I watch in frustration and growing anger as her parent fights for her right to attend school safely and nothing seems to make the situation better. The bullies get suspended - they don't care. We organize a group of students to walk the victim to classes and offer protection in the halls and cafeteria - the bullies target her in classes and the teachers seem oblivious. We get the teachers on board and the bullies wait for her outside her house.

And yet, despite my frustration and my anger. My feelings of impotence. My days when I listen to colleagues as they vent about their lack of power and their feeling that it is useless to try and create change because change will never come. And then I have moments... moments when the students themselves (always the first to embrace change and willing to take leaps of faith) take my breath away. I went in for the March Bullying Awareness sessions (as the students have dubbed them). We had discussions about the ultimate fallout from bullying - bullycide. We talked about the Tyler Clemente case and the Dharun Ravi sentencing. And the students explored who Tyler's death impacted. And these young people, who in October questioned why we should "stick our noses where they don't belong," who asked me "were you raised to stick your nose into every one's business?" who claimed they would never "snitch," and that if it didn't impact them, it didn't concern them. These young people suddenly spontaneously began discussing bias and safety and how do we as a community, make it safe for everyone to be who they are and to have privacy no matter what. How do we change things? What message does it send to the gay community if they feel unsafe to be open about who they are? They argued passionately about posting videos that have the potential to embarrass others and how they would feel if someone was so impacted by their "joke" or "prank" that it shattered their life. They were engaged. They were passionate. They were a community.

When did this happen? I didn't even notice. Their teachers noticed. They have pulled me aside and thanked me for the dialogue; for the opportunity; for the growth they are seeing. And even though I still feel (on days) tired and the lone voice in the wilderness. I still feel anger and frustration for the victims who still are unsafe. I feel hope. I feel that if we continue the dialogue, the awareness building... we can build a community where bullying just isn't tolerated.

So to end this meandering... I'll add a diamond poem written by some of the freshmen about bullying and their feelings.  Poems created with nine words, utilizing what bullying means to them, how it looks, how it sounds, what safety means and then some sort of ending. Here are a few examples of their work:

Upset

Helpless            People

Laughing               Crying               Screaming

God                 Parents

Together

Disgusted


Pain                      Fear


Cries                   "Help"                        Laugh


Home                                 God


Overwhelmed

Frustrated


Pain                 Evil


Hell                            Tears                       Silence/Whispers


Acceptance                    Trust


Gone

Mad

Verbal               Physical


Cursing                        Shouting                      Yelling


Friends                Counseling


Relief